"HER CARDBOARD LOVER" and EVA GABOR

For some reason, I remember that very first summer at Sea Cliff where I apprenticed, better then the next two summers that I worked there. Maybe because it was all new to me and everything was interesting and exciting and I was learning how things worked. The first play of the summer was “The Curtain Rises”, with Veronica Lake. (Her leading man was an actor named Ward Costello….an attractive serviceable actor). It was kind of exciting to have a ‘movie star’ be the “STAR” of the play. I don’t have any particular memories of her….I think I worked the concession stand during that week and probably ate more Hershey Bars and Milky Ways, than I sold!! Then came, Melvyn Douglas & Signe Hasso in a little ditty called, “Glad Tidings”….I have no memory of that week either, except that Mr. Douglas was very nice and very good, in the play, too! The 3rd week was the wonderful Lillian Gish of whom I spoke in one of my previous blogs, doing a play called “Miss Mabel”. She had a couple of heavy weights with her; Clarence Derwent who was an icon in the American Theatre and also was President of Actors Equity Association, at that time….(also, there is an Award named after him)--A distinguished gentleman and very fine actor, was he; Dennis Hoey, who we knew from the “Sherlock Holmes” films…the ones with Basil Rathbone & Nigel Bruce. (He was Inspector LaStrade, in the later films of that series, and was very well known in theatre as well….). Miss Gish was a smart savvy lady and knew to surround herself with first class actors. It’s hard to believe that Lillian Gish was only 55 when she did “Miss Mabel”. Because I was still in my teens, (just barely), I thought she was ancient!! (From my point of view now, as Colette once said, ‘Ahhh, to be 52 again!’…..)

Next came “Her Cardboard Lover”, with Eva Gabor. Miss Gabor had told the Producers that she would need a ‘Dresser’. I am not sure why they chose me, except, I think they thought I was nice, and would get a kick out of being her dresser. So, I had gone home and showered and put on fresh clothes in order to meet her; everyone else was filthy with paint all over them as I had been; tired as hell; and most everyone looked like 7 unmade beds! As I’ve said before, this theatre was pretty much a mess and that included backstage. The ‘Star’ Dressing Room was very tiny and pretty disgusting, too, though we would try to keep it as clean as possible so that there would be no remnant of the previous person who had ‘lived’ in this little room, the week before—in this case that was Lillian Gish. Miss Gabor asked me my name, which I said was Naomi, and she immediately proceeded to call me Gertrude, and did so for the first 3 days or so….we decided that her Dresser the week before must have been named Gertrude and she just held on to that once she had finally learned it…we were all interchangeable to her, I’m sure! She then handed me a list of the things I was expected to do before each show, including the two shows on Wednesday and Saturday. Among the many things I was expected to do, (I think there were 9 directives in all), I had to help her dress, literally, including helping her pull her girdle on, (oy) and get down on the floor on my hands and knees and help her put her shoes on(!!!); iron…yes, iron her 8 or 9 costumes—huge skirted dresses, they were---this was the crinoline 50’s remember; and, brush her little dog before HIS entrance in the second and third acts. (Two brushings,)
One of the Producers, Louis McMillan & his partner George McIver, our Stage Manager were chomping at the bit to find out how it went and what I had to do, and, mostly, was she a real blond! I was pretty overwhelmed with the list of chores, let me tell you—not feeling up to these tasks—especially the ironing—I was so afraid I would burn her very fancy dresses---satin, lace, etc., that I just couldn’t even contemplate how I was going to do this! I told them everything that was expected of me and how fearful I was of ruining her dresses; the crowning blow was when Louis heard I had to brush her dog before his entrance, too, he screamed…”My God, she needs a $90 a week dresser! (That would be $1,900. in today’s money, and it was considered a job for a ‘professional’….) “This is outrageous!!!”, he continued, “I’m going to call her agent! I don’t give a shit that it is Sunday! I will tell him to hire someone for her right now; I’m putting a stop to this kind of thing, right this second!!!” He was much madder than I had hoped; I began to realize that it really was an outrageous expectation on her part and felt he would take care of this situation. I don’t remember where I went in my mind while he did all that screaming on the telephone to her agent, but after he got off the phone he told me to go home. Leave the theatre, and don’t come back till the evening. I was a little unsure of this, but he was my boss, not Miss Gabor. “I’ll see to this, right now!”, and he stormed out of the Box Office where we had been talking and I could see he was on his way through the theatre to backstage. I scurried out of there, fast. I had promised to pick up some props that were needed for the show, and so, off I went, not knowing what the outcome would be, but I was very relieved that he understood…(THIS was definitely beyond my expertise as an apprentice.)
I returned to the theatre about about 7pm and went backstage to see what was happening, terribly afraid of Eva Gabor’s wrath. She saw me and immediately asked me into her Dressing Room and closed the door and said; “Oh Please, Gertrude, don’t leave me! I need you Gertrude, and you are the only one here who looks clean…it won’t be so hard…..I’ll help you! You’ll see, Gertrude, you’ll see!!” This woman was begging me….! My favorite thing was her saying, ‘you look clean’…! Well….needless to say, I didn’t leave her….And ultimately she learned my proper name, and in fact, turned out to be a lot of fun and a very good sport, too. George McIver would call half-hour of course and those first few nights he come to the Dressing Room door and knock rapidly, calling out, Naomi Gertrude Hirshhorn, it’s half-hour! During that week a couple of the kids went to a joke store and they picked up the most real looking and I might add, truly disgusting joke dog-poop I’ve ever seen. George put it where he knew she would see it and she did see it, and the result was pretty hilarious. She screamed thinking her little dog might have dumped it there, and then after looking at it more carefully—good egg that she was, she laughed; she laughed harder than anyone else! A good sport, like I said. There was a lot of discussion among all the apprentices and the rest of the staff, too, as to what Eva Gabor would give me as a ‘thank you’ present. It was a traditional thing to do, especially given the laundry list of chores I did. Much speculation; would it be some jewelry—her mother owned a very famous jewelry store in Manhattan and I knew that her sisters and mother were coming to the show on the coming weekend; (they did and all four of them crowded into the dressing room chattering away in Hungarian—I didn’t understand one word of course—she would stop every so often and ask me a question in English, like—‘Who are the Benefit people here tonight?’, and I would answer her, ‘The B’nai Brith’. She would repeat that to her family, ‘B’nai Brith, aka baga golta …whatever..right back into heavy duty Hungarian. Eva, Zsa Zsa, Magda, and Momma Jolie…all talking at once in Hungarian.
The end of the week came and she was now calling me ‘Naomi’ ---and I just knew, the girl the following week at whatever theatre she was going to would be called Naomi, till she grasped the new name. She thanked me and as I recall, gave me a signed 8 X 10 glossy of herself and a little gift box. She said I should open it after she left, and so after closing, we had this little ritual for a short time, just to unwind before the work began again; so we had our little bit of food and drink, (Soda was my speed at that time), and we had ‘The Opening Of The Gift from Eva Gabor to Gertrude Ceremony’. I must say that by this time I thought it might really be a truly nice piece of jewelry…that’s what the boxsaid! (It certainly might not be from the actual jewelry store but just a box from the store that held something else entirely…)
Drum Roll: I opened the box and inside was a rhinestone pin in the shape of an oversized snowflake with a fake pearl in the center….a pin that might be worn by a woman of 40 or 45, but not a by a girl of 19. But it was from Mama’s store.

I still have that pin. In all these years, I have never worn it but I couldn’t get rid of it or even give it away to someone else. It was never the kind of jewelry I would have ever worn, but it is a keepsake and reminder of another time.
The following winter, Eva Gabor was doing a radio show from the Hotel Ballroom, in Manhattan, (a small ballroom), and I went with a couple of people and during the course of this show she was giving away a weekend at the Concord, (a very popular hotel in the Catskill, at that time....) as a prize in this contest. The contest consisted of her calling out the name of an obscure song and you had to say what Broadway show it was from. So she said the name of the song and...nothing! Eventually she had to give a hint by naming another more well known song from the same Broadway show. She called out the more well known song in that charming accent of hers…’All The Things You Are’….I suddenly knew what the show was; I could see the sheet music in my mind because we had it at home, so I screamed out, very excited, “Very Warm For May”! ‘That’s it! That’s it!’, she said…’Who said that?’…..I stood up in the back of the room where we had been sitting, and waved at her, and said…’I did’. She screamed in recognition, and said, ‘Oh, it’s my dresser, Gertrude!’ I won and lost, all at the same time, that night. Not a big loss and not a big win either, just a lot of fun.